下面咱們就來看一些比方，體會一些寫得并不成功的長句和怎么批改的建議：
好辦法一：避免空泛的單詞和詞組
1.一些空泛的單詞或詞組根本不能為句子帶來任何相關的或重要的信息，徹底可以被刪掉。
比方：When all things are considered,young adults of today live more satisfying lives than those of their parents,in my opinion。
這句話傍邊的“when all things are considered”和“in my opinion“都顯得多余。徹底可以去掉。改為：
Young adults of today live more satisfying lives than their parents。
2.有些空泛和繁瑣的表達方式可以進行替換
例如：Due to the fact that our grandparents were under an obligation to help their parents,they did not have the options that young people have at this point in time。
“due to the fact that”就是一個很典型的繁瑣的表達方式的比方，可以替換，簡化為下面的表達方式：
Because our grandparents were obligated to help their parents,they did not have the options that young people have now。
好辦法二：避免重復
1.盡量避免重復運用相同的詞匯。或許有的時分雖然詞匯沒有重復，但意思卻有重復。這時分可以做一些簡化的工作。
例如下面這個比方：The farm my grandfather grew up on was large in size。
large對一個farm來說就是size方面的large，所以in size可以去掉，改為：
The farm my grandfather grew up on was large。
更簡練的表達方式為：
My grandfather grew up on a large farm。
2.有時一個詞組可以用一個更簡略的單詞來替換
例如：My grandfather has said over and over again that he had to work on his parents&0#39;farm。
這兒的over and over again就可以改為repeatedly，顯得更為簡練：
My grandfather has said repeatedly that he had to work on his parents&0#39;farm。
好辦法三：挑選最恰當的語法結構
挑選適宜的語法結構可以使句子意思的表達更為精確和簡練。雖然語法的多樣性也很重要，但挑選最恰當的語法結構仍然是更為重要的考慮要素。以下原則是在考慮挑選何種語法結構時可以參看的原則：
1.一個句子的主語和謂語動詞應該可以反映句子中的最重要的意思。
例如：The situation that resulted in my grandfather's not being able to study engineering was that his father needed help on the farm。
從意思上來剖析，上面這句話需求表達的重要的概念是“grandfather's not being able to study”，而在表達這個概念時，原句用的主語是situation，謂語動詞是was，不能著重需求表達的重點概念，可以改為下面這句話：
My grandfather couldn't study engineering because his father needed help on the farm。
2.避免頻繁運用“there be”結構
例如下面的句子：There were 25 cows on the farm that my grandfather had to milk every day.It was hard work for my grandfather。
可以改為：
My grandfather worked hard.He had to milk 25 cows on the farm every day。
更簡練的句式為：
My grandfather worked hard milking 25 cows daily。
3.把從句改為短語或單詞。
例如：Dairy cows were raised on the farm,which was located100 kilometers from the nearest university and was in an area that was remote。
簡介的表達方式為：
The dairy farm was located in a remote area,100 kilometers to the nearest university。
4.僅在需求著重賓語而不是主語的時分，才運用被動語態。
例如：In the fall,not only did the cows have to be milked,but also the hay was mowed and stacked by my grandfather's family。
本句不可簡練的原因是本句的重心應該是“繁忙的家庭-my grandfather's family”，而運用了被動語態後，彷佛重心變成了cows和hay。下面的表達方式是主動語態，相對來說更簡練一些：
In the fall,my grandfather's family not only milked the cow but also mowed and stacked the hay。
5.用更為精確的一個動詞來代替動詞短語
例如：My grandfather didn't have time to stand around doing nothing with his school friends。
Stand around doing nothing其實可以用一個動詞來表達，即loiter：
My grandfather didn't have time to loiter with his school friends。
6.有時兩句話的信息通過組合徹底可以用一句話來簡練地表達
例如：Profits from the farm were not large.Sometimes they were too small to meet the expenses of running a farm.They were not sufficient to pay for a university degree。
兩句話的信息可以合并為下面這句更為簡練的句子：
Profits from the farm were sometimes too small to meet operational expenses,let alone pay for a university degree。
西安雅思強化班